The Best Excuse When You Literally Cannot

How to think about what you commit to and finding the courage to fill up your cup.

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Do you ever just not want to do something?

Does the thought of going to an activity or event make you want to immediately curl into bed? Maybe you’re anxiously attempting to come up with a legitimate sounding excuse to get out of a commitment or social event.

Let me give you the most solid excuse in the world: If it’s not serving you, don’t do it.

Obviously, there is an extent to this. What I mean is that if you “showing up” will detrimentally affect a relationship or work, or a friend really needs you, that’s not really what I’m getting at. You should make your own solid judgment in those moments.

I’m referring to situations that demand energy that you just don’t have and are overall more to please others. Ask yourself: who is gaining what if I show up? Will these people still have fun without me? Does the success of this event hinge on my effort and energy?

If you gain nothing, answer ‘yes’ to the second question and ‘no’ to the third, you do not have to go. You should now move forward with the decision to follow through or not based solely on what you need. Think about filling up your cup.

I’m literally loving this idea of “filling up my cup”. Thank you to my yoga teacher training for this amazing analogy. It has given me such a solid understanding of figuring out what I need in certain moments over the course of the day. It also gives me the courage to say “NO” even when people are pressuring me otherwise.

We continuously make choices all day long. There are a million options for what to eat, how to pass free time, what to say to people, how to accomplish all the things. If we slow down just a little bit, I believe we can improve our decision-making as well as integrate our personal needs into the process. This may sound self-centered, but it’s truly not.

Making sure you feel good, have energy, and are genuinely happy to be where you are has incredible benefits. You’ll have a more positive attitude, emotions won’t control you, the people around will sense the good energy and it will influence them. When you fill up your cup, it begins to overflow and fills the cup of others. That’s why, it’s not selfish at all, to consistently take down time for yourself or spend time doing things you love with the people you love.

If it hasn’t been made clear, that’s what “filling up your cup” is. Doing the things that make you feel good. However, it can be easier said than done. It requires self-awareness and honesty with your mind and body. Although you booked a workout class for the next morning, is what you really need a good 8 hours or sleep and a chill walk on the beach?

The ability to listen to your body and not allow your ego to get in the way is a massive skill to cultivate. I encourage you to start working on it.

Journal prompt: What did you do today that served you? What did you do today that served others? How did you feel after doing both those things?

Take a moment to reflect. Be honest with yourself and maybe make a mini note or mantra to keep learning about yourself everyday. Eventually, this will come naturally.

For me, I’ve come to realize that the best way I fill up my cup is to get 7+ hours of sleep. I’m terrible to myself and others around me if it’s less. I own that and consistently say no to late nights or super long events with no ending. If I can control how long I’m there, then I’m game. But I love waking up to my natural clock around the sunrise, getting a yoga or sweat session in. It’s what sets the tone for my day and I’m always accepting invites for hikes, beach strolls, or bike rides. I attract the people who like this too.

I would love to hear what fills up your cup! Please share in the comments below or head on over to my Instagram and comment on a picture or DM me.

I’m a cheerleader for self-love and I think this is all where it begins.




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