Hi! This is an update on my Hungry for Happiness journey.
This post is a little like a journal entry. It’s me reflecting back on November and sharing how this program helped me get through a difficult month.
I moved the first weekend of the month. I left behind the home I’ve lived in since I was ten years old. My dad built it for my family, that disintegrated over time. The property and house hold so many memories, some joyful, some painful. I have fully accepted selling it to an amazing new family, but I needed to mourn the loss before I emotionally moved on.
For the first week I felt raw. Slightly lost and alone because family relationships were extremely strained. I cried a lot, I avoided seeing my Dad, I worked as much as felt good, most importantly, I slept A LOT. Sadness makes ya sleep. Social media was not bringing me up too much, so I stayed off of that too to protect my mental state. I would wake up and ask my inner child, who was really the one hurting the most after the move, how can I love you more?
I’m not going to elaborate much on the inner child here – but if you’ve never heard of him/her/them – here is your introduction. Your inner child is the “little you” within that needs love, comfort, playfulness and connection. Every single day.
This softness, this nurturing I found within myself is new to me. It’s an aspect of Hungry for Happiness I find most helpful at the moment.
In the past and still today, I tend to take an extremely masculine path of workaholism, exercise as much as my body would physically put up with, and cram as many to-do tasks into one day as possible. Self-exhaustion and work was my tool to avoid the painful feelings of grief, separation, mental strain, scarcity – (insert emotions rooted in fear here.)
If you’ve read my previous posts about my food and body journey, you might know that for most of my life, my favorite method to cope with stress, anxiety, and an overwhelmed nervous system was bingeing on food while watching movies. When I got to college, a layer of body dysmorphia and exercise addiction developed. My patterns could last for weeks or months. Technically they lasted for 17 years. I started bingeing when I was 10. I was 20 years old when I realized how potent the combination of restricting and exercise can make everyone treat you differently.
It was an endless cycle of low self worth and self-violent behaviors.
I bring this back to food and body because that’s where this journey started for me. But it had gone so much further than that.
November was a challenging month. And if I were who I was back then, I can’t imagine the stress I’d be putting my body through trying to cope with the way I’ve been feeling. Or rather, trying to avoid the feelings, emotions, and memories at all costs. But instead of reverting to those behaviors, I had new strategies in my self care tool box.
Very importantly, I wasn’t afraid of the feels. I found courage to confront my issues with love, self-preservation and integrity for myself.
I have this Hungry for Happiness community.
I have this incredibly silly, sweet and genuine coach WHO REFUSED to let our standards for ourselves slip. Hello Sam Skelly.
I have a spiritual practice I’m INSANELY grateful for that is stronger than ever, which I never predicted would be part of this. When I feel my vibrations slip, I know how to bring them back up. Another aspect of the toolbox!
I have a mentor and sister coaches to reach out to, who inspire me everyday to be the best, highest, most authentic version of myself today, tomorrow, and next year.
I’m experiencing transformation.
I’m witnessing it too.
Originally, all I wanted, all I was desperate for was to escape my food and body problems. But it’s become SO much deeper than that.
If you’re reading this and you’ve made it this far – holy hello from my heart! <3
If you’re interested in any topic I have touched upon, please feel free to reach out. It can be feedback on my writing, questions on the program, or if you’re interested in working with me as your year 2020 coach.
In January 2020 – I’m taking 5 pro bono clients! I am ready to practice these coaching skills on people who resonate with my message, my story or just want to try out the whole coaching-client relationship. I ask that you follow up our session with feedback and a little review that I will use to submit to my mentor. Message me here to set up a discovery call!
If you want to dive into the ENTIRE Hungry for Happiness community because you feel aligned AF to do this personal work and help others through it – YAS!
I’m a proud affiliate and I can offer you a discount. I have a link for you to use to get $3000 off the program. Um – yeah. Steal it now if you can, or simply just book a call with Cheryl and she’ll speak to you more and answer your questions. Be sure to mention you were referred by Liz MERCI because I get kudos AKA moola.
If that’s all a little much – I highly recommend Samanatha’s podcast to get your food and body juices flowing.
After reading all this – check in with how you feel. Don’t avoid the sensation but breathe into it.
If you were inspired – follow that! Do something that keeps those vibrations up – like a dance party. Or yoga!
If you were triggered. Go indulge in a little self care. Brew some tea and journal. Read a book. Go for a walk outside. Soften a little more. Connect with yourself and hug your inner child.
Big love if you landed here today.
XO + OM