Does the thought of money make you sick, nervous, or scared?
Are you terrified of being destitute or always worried about how you’re going to make money to survive? Do you consistently take jobs that you’re not actually passionate about, but do only to keep your head above water? Is there a career you want to pursue so badly but you’re scared it could never pay the bills? Instead you hustle hard, you’re always exhausted, and the work/life balance sucks super bad.
The months (or years) pass and finally you “save enough” to quit. When you do, you blow the money having the time of your life for a hot sec, and then you’re back on the money scramble as you continue to ignore the tough question: When are you going to ACTUALLY start managing your money properly?
That’s my little sob story for ya. It’s not really that sad, but it’s a cycle I’m trying extremely hard to break and just writing about it helps me figure it out, so thanks for being here.
I’m a great example of someone who sucks at money management. I never got the proper advice from my parents (not blaming just recognizing) or took an accounting class in college. I grew up believing that money was inherently bad and I definitely took money for granted. I never saw it as a quality exchange for goods and services, but viewed it more of an impediment. Money was a nuisance that sometimes got me what I wanted but most of the time just stopped me from doing the fun stuff.
As I start to settle into a place without plans to move away, I quickly realized I needed to get my finances in order. Also I’m 26 so NOW IS ABOUT TIME. After my yoga teacher training I had a total of $700 in my bank account. I don’t have debt on credit cards thank goodness, but I do have a hefty student loan to pay back and I’m still relying on the generosity of my parents to buy me groceries once a week slash allow me to live rent free with them. Living my best life ya know!?
So what am I doing to get the freak back on track? Well truth be told, I accepted a dog sitting position. Cash for hanging with a puppy? Sign me up. But, sitting on the dresser in this women’s house were these two books:
I’m lucky these books happened to fall into my lap. Literally, all I was thinking about was “money management”, “money management”, “money management” for days and what do you know, these lovely resources came into my life.
You Are a Badass at Making Money helped me recognize and begin to unpack my personal thoughts and beliefs about money. Every chapter ends with a money mantra and a writing prompt. Chapter 1 asked for “10 experiences money can add to your life.” Chapter 2 asked for “5 things you remember your parents telling you about money.”
Another crazy eye-opening writing prompt was to write an actual letter to money, as if it was a person you’re in a relationship with. WTF right? But guess what, it really helped. Every single one of us is in a relationship with money. Whether we like it or not. But you might as well like it because your mindset around money totally determines how well that relationship goes.
You ready for my letter? I’m getting so real here to inspire you to do the same, because perhaps you can relate. It’s also to keep myself accountable and open to all of this.
For so long, I believed you were evil. I have avoided wanting, thinking, caring about you too much because I’m afraid of needing you and not being able to have you. I know we’ve never had many problems of getting together (I’m a hirable person) but I was so stuck on only getting a lot of you by means of one standard. Also, you feel dirty to me. There are there so many cool poor people and shitty rich people! Why are you not spread out evenly? Why do you give people so much power? I resent this about you. But I understand that you cannot please everyone. You are an object. People use you as they will. My mom used you to make my Dad go crazy. My dad literally hates dealing with you. But, you pay our bills I guess. I think you’re in an “it’s complicated” relationship with every human. But with me, I really want to be better friends. I want you to work with me to help me achieve what I want while helping serve people I love. I want to lead a fabulous, healthy and love-filled life with you by my side in abundance everyday. I am working to repair our relationship because I realized how much I’ve misunderstood you and taken you for granted. I attributed your qualities with those of who I don’t respect. I’m sorry! Let make up and make shit happen.
Dude, it may seem dumb, but by chapter 4 of this book, I was so fired up to write this. I remember listening to a podcast a few months ago where this advice was given, and I literally laughed out loud. And here I am, full freaking circle.
In addition to journaling my heart out and getting up close and personal with my negative feelings toward money, and realizing like a slap in the face, how it’s held me back in many ways, I obviously needed actionable steps.
Book number one is about mastering you money mindset. Book number two is IN REAL LIFE MONEY MOVES to make smarter choices with your money.
Work Your Wealth was written by a certified financial planner who breaks down, in millennial language, all the topics you need to get familiar with in order to understand and successfully manage your money. She covers credit cards, debt, investing, budgeting and so much more. She also sprinkles in understanding the money mindset too, but does not go nearly in depth as the first book. Depending on where you’re at, you may just want to pick up this book. If you think your relationship with money needs some serious counseling, get both. Mine sure did.
I wrote this as a post because what hit home was how much I’ve avoided talking about money all my life. I need to reverse that. Money is everywhere and it’s a very good thing. I interact with it every single day as it brings wonderful experiences into my life. It helps me lead my happiest, most authentic life. So not only am I grateful for the sunrise and my smoothie bowl, I also really love money and money loves me. #relationshipgoals.
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XO + OM